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"Only One Way Out Of The World"

Interesting title huh? Comes from the song "Why I Am" by the Dave Matthews Band and is extremely fitting for a blog post where I sum up the events of the last 6 weeks or so....

We said good-bye to my Mom on Tuesday. Her battle with cancer ended on Saturday, March 20, 2010 at approximately 11:05 a.m. The latest rounds of the battle were fought over the last 12 months or so, and while she fought valiantly, ultimately that bastard of a disease won. Her chemotherapy treatments really took their toll on her since about August or September and six weeks ago she received her last treatment. After that it was just a matter of time, since there is only one way out of this life...

So you can understand that things sort of fell by the wayside as my family began to adjust to, and cope with the reality of her final days. I was able to have a great visit with about two weeks before she passed, and I am grateful I took advantage of that visit to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her efforts into helping make me the person I am today.

She celebrated her 72nd birthday last Thursday. Late that afternoon her condition warranted moving to the hospice care facility where she would spend her last hours surrounded by her friends and family. She left this world the way she had expressed to me that she wanted to: she went to sleep and didn't wake up.

I'm still coming to grips with the gravity of the situation, and I miss her dearly, but I am very thankful that her ordeal is over.

The event that resonates the most with me from Tuesday: Over the last few years my mother gather with a group of women that she attended elementary school with, that's correct, elementary school, for lunch on a regular basis. I had a great conversation with one of those women who related to me how much she admired my mother's strength as she confronted the disease. That meant so much to me...that and she told me that my Mom was extremely proud of me. What more could a person want?

She leaves behind a husband of 48 years, three children, and three grandchildren. She touched many lives. She will be remembered by many.

I will miss her. I will try to carry her spirit with me and demonstrate it in my daily life. What better memorial could there be than that?

Priorites

Learned a valuable lesson yesterday.

This time of the year, spring sports seasons, I have very little control over my schedule due to a variety of factors: weather, spur of the moment scheduling changes, events that have no time limits, etc, etc.

The lesson? I've got to make my stuff a priority when I can. No putting of a run until the afternoon because the afternoon while clear on my calendar might be spent at the baseball field. No putting off that phone call, or paperwork because I might have to be at a softball game. You get the idea.

I'm fortunate that my work day typically doesn't start until mid-morning, so I've got the time. I just need to spend that time more judiciously.

I need to be a bit selfish. Me first. Because if I take care of me first, then I'll be in a better frame of mind to tackle the events of the rest of my day. Then everyone wins.

Apologies

I need to go on the record with an apology.

I haven't been able to update this as frequent as of late due to circumstances beyond my control. My family is dealing with some end of life issues right now, and while I will at some point talk about all the stuff bouncing around my head right now because of that I'm unsure of how to do so without airing familial dirty laundry and violating privacy.

Right now it's hard to put things into words, so I'm going to refrain for the time being.

I'm still alive and kicking and trying to get ready for my two goal races this spring, and I'm updating the reading list over there on the right just so all 4 of you don't think I've fallen into a giant hole and can't get out.

I promise there will be an update this weekend - excellent chance there will be great news to share after a 5k on Saturday.